The Stories We Tell Ourselves (True or Not)

Joyce Meyer’s book, “Battlefield of the Mind,” is a popular title among Christians, and I have read it too. It especially speaks to overthinkers like myself. Many pastors have also preached along the line of “positive thinking”, and in the Christian context, it’s to have a thinking that aligns with God.

Yet after so many years, the battle in my mind is still going on, stronger in days when I am in the valley or chaos. With mental issues increasing worldwide, I reckon many people can identify with me because they are having fierce battles in their minds these days too. We have many voices in our minds. Broadly speaking, it’s God’s voice versus the others. And these other voices are fighting to speak into our lives and drown out God’s voice.

In recent months, God has been shining the torchlight on stories I tell myself, the inner voice constructing the narrative I live in. The best inner voice is the one strongly influenced by God’s voice and Word. Yet, my therapist once told me that my mother’s voice is very evident in my inner voice. I’m surprised that after all these years, her voice, rather than God’s voice, remains dominant in my inner world.

Thus, there’s a need to continually meditate on God’s Word and renew my mind so that His voice can take root in my mind and heart, rather than the voices of my mother or others.

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind,
that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Romans 12:2

Recently, I reached out to two dear friends whom I thought had drifted apart due to something I did or said. The inner voice I grew up with always pointed me out as the problem, and these two friendships confirmed it. It turned out that this was not the truth. One drifted because she thought it was the natural separation of two busy people, and the other because of her own coping mechanism over her dark times, and I was not the only friend she ‘cut off’. Had I not known from their perspectives, my own assumptions would have strengthened my inner lies.

And if the inner voice is speaking lies about ourselves, and shows no compassion and grace to ourselves, naturally, the stories we tell about others will be laced with judgment rather than empathy. Hence, I am trying to come up with stories about the person who cut the queue, bumped into me or snatched seats from me, on how they might be in a rush to a sick child, have a bad day, bad ache, or other stories of the iceberg that are hidden under the surface. I pray I will see them from God’s perspective and from His love, especially those whom I find it hard to forgive.

And I realised if our inner voice is unkind, the voice we speak will be unkind as well, and we might not know it. At least for me, I didn’t realise sometimes my tone ain’t good until my reflection, aka my children, gave me a reality check when they didn’t speak nicely to each other or others.

Other voices, including our own, distort our perspectives and the truth about ourselves and others. Thus, amplifying God’s voice in our lives is crucial because it constructs a healthier narrative for us to flourish in and gives us a voice that speaks life into ourselves and others. How do we know if the inner voice is of God? Whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Philippians 4:8 (NIV)

It’s a continual battle, and that’s why we have to renew our minds daily with His Word. Life and love flow from the inside out, so go back to what God says about you and meditate on it. For me, it’s knowing that I am a child of God and that Abba God loves and cares for me. How about you?

For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Ephesians 3:14-19

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