The Push and Pull of Love

I told my daughter, “You can choose to push me away with acts of rebellion or disobedience. For example, lies would erode the trust in the relationship. Or you can draw near to me and I will draw near to you.” And in that aha moment, I gained a deeper understanding of how the love of the Abba Father for all His children is the same, but the degree of closeness varies because of what we do as children towards the Father, both in words and actions. God’s love for all of us is unconditional, but our intimacy with God is conditional. How much we love Him back determines our intimacy with Him.

We can draw near to God through prayer, reading the Bible, and obeying His teachings as mentioned in John 14:23 — “Jesus replied, ‘Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.’”

As I tried to explain to my daughter how a relationship is a two-way street, Newton’s third law of motion came to mind. It states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, meaning forces always occur in pairs. So I made the concept more physical for her to understand — if she pushes me physically, I would be pushed away. If she drew me in with a hug, I would draw near and hug her back.

Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.
Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

James 4:7-8 (NKJV)

Around this time, I was reading John 10:39-42 and saw some resemblance to the above principles. From verses 32 to 37, the Jews tried to stone Jesus, calling Him a blasphemer, as Jesus reasoned with them, and they refused to listen to Him. Since they resisted Jesus, Jesus escaped and went to a place where He knew the people would draw near to Him.

Therefore they sought again to seize Him, but He escaped out of their hand.
And He went away again beyond the Jordan to the place where John was baptizing at first, and there He stayed. Then many came to Him and said, “John performed no sign, but all the things that John spoke about this Man were true.” And many believed in Him there.

John 10:39-42 (NKJV)

This revelation of how God’s love and intimacy are separate “entities”, and His love is the same for all, corrected my perspective of God. Sometimes in the past, I felt God plays favourites like earthly parents, liking one sibling more than the other, because of other Christians’ testimonies of answered prayers and blessings, while I wander around in God’s silence.

Now I see — unlike earthly parents, even if some children of God choose to quench the Holy Spirit and not deepen intimacy with God, it doesn’t negate or decrease His love for them.

“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Romans 8:38-39 (NKJV)

As Romans 8:38-39 states, nothing shall be able to separate us from the love of God, including our actions or inactions.

Back to my opening paragraph, I asked my daughter to draw near to me, but in fact, I loved her first, even before she was born. I drew near to her first. Likewise, God is the one who first loved us, pursued us, and drew near to us first, even when we were still sinners. But unlike earthly parents’ love, which might be worn down by their children, God’s love is like a steady rock, unshakeable. Recently, I read this story on Salt & Light and saw how the Shepherd went searching for the one lost sheep, the relentless pursuit of God’s love, and the patience and longsuffering of it.

God loves you. How about you — do you want to draw near to Him?

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